Silence to bloom (NAT Art Residence - The Moment of Creation - 07/2022)

Static, with a shiver that ran through my entire body and without words was my encounter with the first cave paintings. There, the magic of shapes and colors reigned that stimulate creation and also silence for observation, but what is my silence?

First, I tried to represent it in a two-dimensional format using pigments and charcoal with the help of my fingers. However, registering my silence was not only doing what I knew, it was beginning to listen to my surroundings and the communication that exists in nature. The wind / the river / the sea / the rain / the earth / … / Everything has a sound that only makes a brief pause when we interrupt it.

My desire to have this silence made me record my encounter with nature on audio every day. It was a magical moment to hear it, feel it, understand it and above all enjoy it.

Thus, silence, in addition to respect, was the beginning of my connection with nature and with my creation process. But, it was not easy because when I closed my eyes only chaos came to my mind, my chaos, which I did not know or did not want and could not accept in the first days. But, as I spent more time in it, little by little it became calm and it is at that moment that ideas arose.

I was able to admit that I was happy because I found a moment for myself. Feeling in the middle of nature made me return to my childhood and enjoy the smells and sounds like a child in freedom without having to think about my responsibilities. I decided to hide and let the girl play, who gave names to each character that she appeared while she drew the eyes of the trees with charcoal.

With this happiness, the little girl had the need to create flowers for the adult. Without knowing very well why, these colorful and luminous flowers began to be born.

The more time I took to connect with myself, the more I was listening to my body and especially my heart, which I hadn't listened to for a long time. And it is only in this silence that today I can see and show these scabs and wounds that were hidden from others. Today I understand that need to be next to the tree full of grooves and traces of time at the moment of creation. Since it is in him that I see myself reflected, the one who heard my confessions.

The need to flourish has given me the courage to be honest with myself and to forgive myself. The rain and tears helped to release this pressure built up in my heart leaving it weightless.

Now I am a flower that is born from silence and I give myself permission to grow.